Monday, February 7, 2011

Does it defeat the purpose of going to the gym when you come home to a Klondike bar?

Well my wonderfully fabulous friend Beth says only a teenie tiny bit so I am OK with that.  I mean I probably burned off a whopping 27 calories only to consume quadruple that in 5 seconds.  It was ALL worth it though. 

Let's talk about the gym.  One of my other wonderfully fabulous friends- Wendy- and I have been going to the gym pretty regularly lately.  Now while the purpose of going to the gym is to workout and maybe sweat off a few pounds- that's not the sole purpose.  Wendy and I are there to make fun of people.  Yes I know- hell in a hand basket.  Been there like 50 times already.  We try to be quiet but sometimes things just get blurted out when you are grasping for air.  Take tonight.  We did a great cardio workout on the treadmill then switched over to do interval training on the arc machine.  (Side note- when we were done with the arc this totally cute guy behind me on the treadmill smiled at me when I was wiping my machine down.  I'm going to believe that he thought I looked cute all red faced and sweaty but it might have been because my yoga pants kept sliding down and he was getting shots of my ass crack and/or hot pink undies for 20 minutes.)  Back to story- so after we finished cardio we decided to do the 30 minute express workout.  Now- I give props to everyone working out no matter what shape, size, age, whatever you are. Believe me- I'm no size 8.  I'm barely a size 6.  HA.  I don't make fun of people because they are large or jiggly or sweating buckets onto the machines.  I make fun of them because they are trying to pretend to know what they are doing but have absolutely no clue. 

So Miss Wendy and I are on machine like 5 out of 20 when this little old Indian lady comes over in her aqua velour pants.  First of all- who the hell wears VELOUR to the gym?   I mean come on.  Anyway- the purpose of this circuit is to be on a machine for a minute, rest 30 seconds, then move to the next machine for a minute etc. etc.  This CRAZY ASS lady was bouncing all over the place.  She literally went through 5 machines while we weren't done with our minute on 1 machine.  She had no idea what she was doing and I'm sure she almost blew out her knee at least 4 times in the leg press.  At one point I got Wendy's attention because this lady was literally HOPPING on the leg press.  How does one even do that?  It was like a lying down hop.  I almost wanted to kick her off that machine and try for myself.  But knowing me I'd really hurt myself or break the machine.  In front of everyone. 

We finish the circuit and decide we are done for the night.  And this here is why Wendy is one of my best friends.  The ying to my yang.  The peanut butter to my jelly.  We are walking out the door and my SKINNY, tall, gorgeous friend looks at me and says "Oh wait- I have the new Thai  restaurant menu for you."  Yes- we are literally thinking about our next meal as we are leaving the gym. 

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