Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I apologize in advance.....

So day two of no running water…. Ew. How did people ever live like this? All I can say is that I would NEVER be able to survive in a third world country.  At.  All.  I was able to shower yesterday thanks to the wonderful Wendy and Jon. But this morning was a whole different story. The funny thing is that my boss came in and said, “Well, you don’t stink, so I guess you were able to shower this morning.” Well, no- but thank you for acknowledging that I overdosed my body in Victoria’s Secret spray. Even more funny is that she complimented my slicked back ponytail saying how nice my hair looked pulled back like that and how I’ve never worn my hair like that before. So my takeaway from all of this is that I look and smell better having not showered than I do spending 50 minutes a day each morning getting all beautified.  Fabulous.  

Well I got the call today and they just came and replaced the water tank.  Sweet.  Now I can overload the system and do my laundry, dishes, and shower all at the same time to make sure that it's really working.  But what a pain in the ass.  I guess I can be positive about it and say that it definitely could have been worse.  And with that I'm done talking about the stupid water tank.  

Last night after The Bachelorette a new fatty show came on.  Side Note:  Can I just say for the record how DISGUSTED I am with American television right now?  Like, what are other countries thinking of the USA by watching all of our reality TV programs?  We are a country of obese, 16 and knocked up, redneck weddings, who hoard everything we can find (including dead mice carcasses) and are addicted to the most obscure things like having sex with laundry baskets all while fist pumping and overly tanning.  Seriously?  I'm embarrassed for us.  And I won't even go into the tragedy that is VH1.  Talk about Ghetto programming.  Second Side Note:  Can I just say that I felt bad for Ashley at first with this Bentley guy?  But after last night with her pathetically begging him to stay and some of the things that came out of his mouth- I think I'm in love with him.  Or at least his mean-ness.  OMG he is awesome.  I hope and pray that he stays until the end (promos for next week show him  maybe leaving???  Big sigh of disappointment from me).  So anyways- after Ashley was done making out with 10 guys, this new show- Extreme Obese Sloths came on.  This 21 year old girl was 369 pounds and was a PE teacher.  I know I posted this on FB but I'm going to state it here as well.  If I had children and they went to this woman's school and she was the one teaching them PE, I would remove my children from that school.  And not because she was 369 pounds. (Well, OK that MIGHT have something to do with it too!).  But because she actually had the nerve to LAUGH when she was saying it.  Like, "Ya I'm a fatty and I'm supposed to be teaching your kids how to be physically fit and I can't even take 4 steps without heavy breathing and sweating all over the place."  Again, disgusting.  

It was actually painful to watch.  This girls mom literally walked out of the house and took off in her car because the trainer was clearing out all the crap food in the fridge.  The family complained about having to listen to the daughter workout at 6am.  Seriously- they should win "Most Supportive Family Of The Year" for the way that they treated her.  Never mind, leaving out the taco meat on the stove as a "HAHA you can't have this" when she walked into the kitchen.  Evil.  In the end she lost some weight, had surgery and weighed less than me.  Douche.  But one of the things that I took away from this episode is that I will never have the sentence "Let's see if you are a candidate  for the skin removal surgery" be used in reference to me or my body.  

Beth and I were watching this show together- cuz why not?  You KNOW we will have only positive things to say about this new show.  But we did at the end determine that we were also going to do something about our laziness (my words not hers).  So we've decided that we are going to do a 4 month diet/workout plan that starts June 1 and we will weigh ourselves Oct 1 and if we meet our predetermined goal (mine is at least 30 El Bee's) we are going to go on a trip.  It'll probably be like a day trip to Chicago or something like that- but a reward at the end might be the treat that I need to get me motivated.  That, and putting it out there in Blogland to be held accountable.  Maybe we will take in a food and wine festival.  HA.  I kid.  I kid. 

So starting tomorrow, I will begin my gym/running/diet regiment.  I will spare you the Biggest Loser sport bra and spandex shorts photos at weigh-in.  No one needs to see that, not even me.  But I might take a photo of the reading on the scale tomorrow and then one on Oct 1 as some sort of proof/victory.  But for now, I have today where I can eat pizza (just had it for lunch) and determine just how many bowls of ice cream I can consume from the cartons already in the freezer by tomorrow.  I mean, I don't want to waste it.  Come on.  That would just be wrong.  There are starving children somewhere. 

No comments:

Post a Comment

Only comment if you are going to tell me how awesome I am. If you don't, I will hunt you down and cut a bitch.