Thursday, May 5, 2011

I Feel The Earth Move....Whenever You're Around!

After I left the Heat, I started working with my good friend’s company again until I found another full time job. I had already been looking for a new job for over a year and nothing peaked my interest and apparently I didn’t peak any of the employers interest of the ones that I did apply for. It was really starting to get frustrating and I was at the point of giving up. 

Wendy called me one day when I was just really down on myself and not knowing what I was going to do and told me about two jobs that she had found.  I begrudgingly got out of bed at her insistence cursing her all the way over to my computer that I apply for these two jobs and submitted my resume. I applied for the jobs on a Monday. I received a call from one of them on that Thursday, they flew me up on the following Monday and I was hired on Thursday. When I flew up up there, I was in the middle of a golf tournament in Northern Florida that went for another week. When I was hired, I literally had one week to get back to Miami, pack all of my things, and move. I should have known at the time with how “unaccommodating” about my start date my soon to be supervisor was being that this job really wasn’t for me. But I was at least getting out of Florida and to where I wanted to be. And I was also getting a decent salary again! Woo hoo!! 

So I moved in March on the Friday before I was supposed to start my job, put all of my stuff in storage and moved in with Wendy and Jon. Little did they know- they weren’t going to get rid of me for another year and a half! Bwahhh hahaha!! My first day on the job, there were two other girls starting as well and one of them became my first official “new friend” here- you couldn’t separate us. We definitely had a great time with each other while I was there. The rest of the office (excluding one department worth) was great. It was mostly made up of girls my age and we spent lots of time out together. For some reason this company thought that I was the be all and end all of knowledge and experience. Boy do I know how to fluff my resume, huh? Just kidding, I really do know it all.  Our CEO was amazing, letting me do my thing, running my department (and by department, I mean ME), my direct supervisor was annoying as all hell, but was certainly tolerable because he pretty much left me alone since he had zero ticketing experience. Things were going good for quite a while. We went on the road that summer and I apparently surprised my CEO with how much I knew and what I could handle and with all of the changes that I implemented. I was told numerous times that they were just waiting for me to realize how much cooler I was than them obviously and were waiting for me to leave. My staff at that point was terrible- with the exception of Beth. So after the summer was over, I fired them all but kept my sister from another mister. She’s thoroughly entertaining so I couldn’t get rid of her and we definitely kept each other sane with all of the bullshit that we had to go through. 

During my interview (black suit, hot pink shirt- BAM!) I was very open with “what type of employee I am.” I later found out that after I left their office, my soon-to-be supervisor was like, “Who tells a company what they will and won’t do at a job interview?” HAHA. Yes I have a serious set of balls. I needed to make it VERY CLEAR to whoever was going to hire me that I wasn’t going to kill myself for them. I would however, bust my ass and get my job done but I was done at 5pm. Don’t call me and don’t email me when I am home because I will not respond. I understood that when we were “in season” that this would change and I would be there when I needed to be. But the rest of the year- 40 hours a week baby. Well this apparently pissed off one department who thought that they were god’s gift. How it was my fault that they can't get their shit done during the work day and I could?  Not my problem. 

I really started to butt heads with the head of one department. He didn’t work in our office so it was difficult to interact with him at first and I thought it was me misunderstanding this guy.  But then it started to really get bad. Everyone kept saying not to worry about it, it’s just that he’s from the east coast and he had “east coast attitude.” No. Fuck that. I’m from the east coast. I know LOTS of people from the east coast. And NONE of them behave the way that this fucker does. Don’t lump all of us into the same category as him and don’t give the “east coast” a bad name by describing him as that. I apologize to any of you in advance that are friends with this scumbag. Because I am NOT going to be nice about him. He’s a complete dickhead. The first time I met him he was plopped in a chair in our conference room. The entire time he was talking to me I couldn’t think of anything other than him eating me for lunch. He is ENORMOUS (and that’s being nice). When he crosses his arms in front of him they stick straight out (a la I Dream of Genie) resting on his man boobs because his gut sticks so far out that he can’t put his arms down. He’s so gigantic that he broke one of our conference room chairs. He’s a cross between Fat Bastard and Jabba the Hutt.  He starts sweating just thinking about having to stand up. 

He basically had our CEO wrapped around his finger and anything that Blob (my name for him) said, went. He bad mouthed the staff in front of our board of directors. He forced us to have everything written, designed, created, etc. by his graphic design company (conflict of interest anyone?) and required to have at least 2 weeks for completion of said request- which was never completed within the 2 weeks. I think that from the almost 3 years that I was there, I MAYBE got 3 requests done on time from him. When you started questioning him as to where your request was, he’d get wicked nasty with you and swear and call you names in emails. He had all the power in the office because he was the master manipulator. He is a serious bully and one of the most passive aggressive people I’ve ever met. He flipped out on me a year into my being there about a letter. Seriously. A letter. Here’s a little snippet of what was said (exact quotes-  only thing that is changed are company name and my supervisors name) on the day that the letter was due back to me and he decided to tell me that he was changing MY REQUEST to a postcard:

Blob: I think we will opt to do this as a postcard, rather than killing extra trees with everything else.

Me: Literally just printed the envelopes since I hadn’t heard back from anyone and I thought I’d receive it today. Can we just do the letter so as not to waste the envelopes and money that was spent on those? (Never mind that he said that they will “opt” to do a postcard- so that meant he hadn’t even started the postcard- which meant that AGAIN I wasn’t going to get my request on time)

Blob: If you were just going to do your own thing anyway, why did you bother to ask?

I didn’t respond to him. The next day (one day past due date) still no letter in hand.

Me: Please let me know when is a good time to chat about this letter. I am available anytime today to get on a conference call with you. Thanks so much!

Blob: There’s nothing to chat about. You’ve pissed me off. 

This is how all conversations went with him. I was at my breaking point with him. I was trying really REALLY hard not to turn into the “old me” aka Major Bitch that I was when I was in Miami. I wasn’t going to get all riled up by this guy but I also wasn’t going to feel like I had to tip toe around him either. So I went to my supervisor to ask him to talk to Blob and see what was going on with the letter/postcard. 

At the end of the day he emailed Blob: “So, is it fair to assume we'll have this tomorrow morning?” (Which would then mean that the request is now two full days past the due date.)

Blob: Why are you involved with this now? Am I going to have to put up with yet another weak "ABC"  employee getting the "daddy du jour" to fight their battles for them, rather than ponying up and being a professional? Fuck this, "Rich". This has nothing to do with you other than the fact that this lazy employee dragged you into the conversation in an effort to "tattle" on me. I'm over this kind of behavior from the poseurs in the office, and if you're going to enable the perpetuation of mediocrity, you and I will need to discuss it when we're next together. To answer your question: It's fair to assume that you'll have the fucking letter when I get it done.

So now do you know what I mean when I say he’s a total dickhead? My supervisor said that he had “every right to talk to me like that because he’s a senior manager” when I complained about him. Ummm- I don’t THINK SO. I don’t give a fuck who you are, you don’t talk to anyone like that. I then went to my CEO about it and he asked what I responded. I told him that I he “didn’t WANT me to respond to him. But if he sends me another email like that, I WILL respond to him and it won’t be pretty.” Needless to say that after that I didn’t interact with him. I went through my supervisor or my CEO when I had something I needed from  him. He started to treat more and more employees like that too. My supervisor finally had enough of it because now HE was getting treated the same way that I was (yeah- NOW that douchebag thought that Blob was inappropriate- only cuz HE was being treated like shit). So 5 people (out of an office of about 17-18) put a binder together, that ended up being about 180 pages, and filed an official complaint against him. A week went by and finally our CEO responded back to us that Blob had been talked to. That’s it. I decided then and there that I was leaving this company. Nothing was going to change because he was the master puppeteer and had brainwashed our CEO. I wasn’t passionate about working there, it wasn’t sports- which was where I loved being. And let’s face it, I am cooler than most people that work there so I was just doing what they thought all along I was going to do. Just kidding. But. Not really. 

I’m glad that I worked there though. I learned a lot on office politics. I got more experience in my field. I learned tons of “How NOT To’s.” But I also met some of my very good friends there.  For that, I am grateful. I also wouldn’t have half of the hilarious stories about Beth and I. OMG- I would have never met Beth. Definitely glad that I worked there. And who knows what would’ve happened had I stayed in Florida any longer.

To Blob: You will always be the fat kid in school who got made fun of that now overcompensates for it by treating others like shit. You are a coward, a bully, and evil spirited. No one likes you and in fact, they pity you. You sit behind your computer and send out your “hateful words” and “nasty comments” from behind a monitor- like you are so tough.  But when it comes down to it- you can’t say it to their faces cuz you are nothing but a little bitch. I don’t feel bad that when I met with you to talk about how much of an asshole you really are, I made you sit in a booth because I knew you wouldn’t fit in it and watching you try to squeeze into it was the highlight of my week.  How do you like me now? 


  1. Well THAT'S the reason why spell check didn't know that word!! I never claimed to be a good speller. But I'm glad I "piqued" your interest. ;)

  2. what you said about bob in this post is untrue and unfair kristi. i guess ur intitled to ur opinion since its ur blog. im sure youll delete this anyway.

  3. You have zero class.

  4. "Anonymous"- I'm not quite sure why you would assume that I'm talking about a "Bob" since I didn't use the name of this person or which company it was that I was working for. I'm also not sure what you mean when you say "untrue" as everything posted here is from my experience with this individual and it is true. But you are right about two things. I am entitled to my opinion and it is my blog. You are also entitled to your opinion as well- so no, I won't be deleting your comment. Thank you for reading though. I hope that you checked out the other posts while you were here. I'm pretty funny- or so I've been told.

  5. As for having zero class- I've never claimed that I did. So if you are disappointed, then maybe your expectation of me was too high, Anonymous. Just sayin.

  6. Nice drive by "Anonymous". Both of you. It's a shame the *the company* is now run by Herbert Ruggles Tarlek Jr. and Michael Gary Scott, but thems the breaks, ain't it boys. By "Untrue and unfair" I take it you are referring to the direct quotes. Whatever... Enjoy your free Etymotics headphones gentlemen.


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