Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Things That Annoy The Shit Out Of Me..... On Facebook

Ok.  This is a new twist on a old thing.  Hope you enjoy. 
  • Bitching.  Seriously people.  I don't care about your problems and neither do the rest of your friends.  If I've said it once, I'll say it again.  IT'S A SOCIAL NETWORK.  That means for fun or entertainment.  Not a FUN SPONGE NETWORK.  Go join Google + if all you do is bitch.   
  • Statuses (status's?  statusi?  Status'?) that leave you guessing.  If I have to think about what you mean, I've already spent more time on you than I would like.  Don't leave us in limbo.  Clearly we are thinking the worst.  Or at least I am.  (It's way more entertaining that way)  If you have the guts to put it (albeit very vaguely) on your page- just spit it out.  If not, don't bother us with your drama.
  • Charities.  I feel like you only like a charity because it seems cool.  Do you donate money or your time to this charity outside of Facebook or just "like" it cuz one of your friends did?  Because based on the number of pages that you "like" it makes your "like" of the charity seem insignificant.  Especially when its listed right next to your like of Tide laundry detergent and The Kardashians. 
  • Having my news feed FULL of the stupid games that you play.  Seriously- if you have that much time on your hands, get a job.  Or a second job.   Or a hobby (one that isn't playing games on FB).  I've been able to hide most peoples status updates in my news feed (you'd honestly be surprised at how many people I've blocked from my news feed) but unfortunately my Blackberry doesn't do the same.  Damn Blackberry. 
  • Sonogram pictures.  Please don't force me to look at your innards.  While I might be happy that you are expecting, I definitely don't need to see your black and white blob up close and personal.  Now I just LOVE actual baby pictures though.  So I'm not anti-kids photos. Just anti-fetus pictures. 
  • Friends that put WAY TOO MUCH personal information on their pages.  It is a social network.  Not a "Woah is me.  Feel bad for me" network.  Save your drama for your mama.  I don't need to know that you and your spouse are fighting.  Or your friend betrayed you.  Or you have a headache. 
  • Serial daters.  If you change your relationship status as much as you hopefully change your underwear, you might want to rethink using that option.  How can one go from In A Relationship, Married, Separated, Divorced, Single, In A Relationship, In Limbo, Rethinking My Divorce, and Confused all in one week?  It's ridiculous.  Either you are the dirty whore that I've always thought you were or you are just an attention seeker. 
  • Inappropriate pictures.  You all know what I'm talking about.  Everyone has that friend.  Because while you might think that you have a rockin bod, not everyone else feels that way.  I don't want to see your saggy flabby ass all over my news feed.  KTHXBYE.    
  • "Vote for my....." requests over and over again.  If I didn't vote the first time you asked- it probably means that I won't vote for it the 2nd or 3rd time either.    (And this is no way the same as me harassing you to like my Girl With The Pink Toolbelt page over and over.  Not one bit.  By the way- have you liked it yet?)  My page is funny and I will totally amuse the shit out of you.  Your kid isn't Baby Gap's Adorable Child of the Year.  He's just not.  No matter how many times I do or don't vote for your ugly kid- its not me who decides.  It the Baby Gap.  And have you seen the babies they use?  Adorable.  Nothing like your kid.  Sorry.   But its the truth. 
  • Tagging me in a photo without my permission.  Which leads me to untag myself.  Then you go and tag me again.  I don't need that many pictures of my double chin on the Internet.  STOP tagging it.  It's almost at the point where it needs it's own Fan page. 


  1. Tagging drives me nuts!!! That's for not tagging me in some pf the nasty photos of me from the BU days-ughhhh!!!

  2. I mean THANKS damn spellcheck!


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