Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Remember Me??

Did everyone have a nice, relaxing, holiday weekend? I know I did!! Well, only two of the days.

I worked a college football game on Saturday.  It was craaaaaaa-zaaaaaaaay!  We opened our ticket office at noon and the game started at 7pm.  Throughout the day we were steady busy but slow and then at 6pm we got slammed.  And not in a good way, o-kayyyyyyy?  We literally had about 5,500 people walk up to purchase their tickets in that one hour.  Not.  Fun.  We had to call in the troops and open up 8 more windows (from the 12 we already had).  The troops were people who have been trained to sell but really haven’t sold all that much (event managers, suite coordinators, interns, receptionists, etc.)… They were really good for being totally put on the spot and selling reserved seating and really bailed us out BIG TIME.  We got through all of the lines in about two hours but some people missed the first hour of the game.  But do you know what I have to say to that?  “Drunk kids- you started tailgating at noon.  You should have taken your beer and your burger for a little walk and purchased your ticket earlier.  Sorryboutcha.”  I was telling my mother the story and that was the first thing she said too.  “Why didn’t they purchase right when they got there?”  The best part was the farther into the evening it got, the drunker the kids were.  It was funny trying to get them to sign for their credit card receipt.  Their parents would be so proud.

One really funny thing about this game was getting “reacquainted” with a ticket office manager that I had previously worked with.  This is actually pretty hilarious.  So my first year with my last job we were supposed to be the opening event at my current place of employment.  Confused?  Read it again.  Sloooooooowly.  However, the stadium wasn’t finished yet so we had to move venues last minute. (P.S. THAT was a fun first project).  When we arrived on site the first day I headed into the ticket office and introduced myself to their ticket office staff.  I handed over some pretty laminated colorful seating charts that I had spent some time on, only to be barked at that they already had window signs.  Ohhhhhhh-kayyyyyyyyy.  Nice to meet you too, Fuckers!!  While I was doing this, a customer was at one of the windows looking to purchase accessible seating.  The kid at the window told her we were sold out- which was not the case.  I jumped in and explained that we still had some available and when the kid told me he didn’t know how to sell them, I jumped onto his computer to sell to the customer.  BUT….. before I could do that, I got SCREAMED at by the ticket office manager.  And when I say I got screamed at…. I mean- spit flying, fingers pointing, red faced, screaming “DO NOT TOUCH THAT COMPUTER!!!!! ARGHH!!!!!!!!”  Me, one to never back down from a fight, turned around, dumbfounded, and asked what the problem was.  Because if they couldn’t sell the lady a ticket, I was going to.  Maybe he just didn’t want me to touch that kid’s computer so I moved to an empty one and went to code myself in and sell the ticket AGAIN… and got yelled at…again. “I SAID DO NOT TOUCH OUR COMPUTERSSSSSSS!!!! GET OUT OF HERE NOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!”  Ummm, talk about awkward.

Well I had two of our Ticketmaster reps in there who were so uncomfortable, that they left and never came back, it was that bad.  I headed over to my on-site office and found my CEO and told him that we had a little bit of a situation going on.  When he asked me what, I told him that I had just gotten kicked out of the ticket office.  His response: “Kristi, we’ve only been here for 10 minutes.  What did you do?”  Yes.  It was CLEARLY all me.  After explaining a little bit further, he got on the phone with our lawyers, who got on the phone with the university's lawyers stating that if I couldn’t do my job on-site, they were pulling our event from their university.  Well lookie lookie.  Within an hour, I had my own office set up where I had keys made for me, my own laptop provided by the university, a printer and a university email address.  Booyah.  Cuz that’s how I ROLL, bitches!  Needless to say, I never came across these two ticket office managers again the rest of the weekend as I stayed in my corner and they stayed in theirs.

Well, guess whose university was playing in our college football game???  I had already told this story to my boss, who was shocked because she said that this guy was always so nice.  So when he walked in, everyone had all eyes on me.  (Oh, cuz I might have told everyone else about it too. My bad.) Well, they both just walked by me (maybe they didn’t recognize me???).  After a few minutes the screamer was talking to my boss when she started talking about me and was like, “You know. Kristi. From ABC Company.”  I started laughing and had to walk away.  She’s such an instigator.  I heard him say, “Oh.  Yeah.  That was a rough event for us.”  HAH.  Ummm, you think?

About 30 minutes later, I was walking by them and screamer stopped me and asked me how I was doing.  I was totally going to be SUPER SWEET to him until he was like, “Geez. How long has it been?”  Really?  Do you not think that I am going to say anything???  Really?  So I said, “Well. Let’s see.  ABC Company was what?  2008?  You remember me from ABC Company, right?”  Like I said.  I don’t back down.  So he said pretty much the same thing to me as he had to my boss, that it was a rough event for them.  Whatever.  You were a douche and you know it.  How’d you like me to start screaming at you and kick you out of my ticket office right now?  Make you feel like a total ass in front of all these people?  Yeah, I bet you wouldn’t like that very much, huh?  Dick.

Other than the busy lines and the long day, everything else went really well.  Until I got a text from my dear friend Judy, telling me that our massage appointment for the next morning was at 10:30am and she’d pick me up at Wendy’s at 9:30am.  Which meant that I needed to be awake at 8:30am.  ON.  A.  SUNDAY.  Let me just explain to you how awful this information is.  On the weekends, if I am not working, I catch up on all of my lost sleep from the week.  So it’s typical that my “morning” doesn’t start until about 12:30-1:30pm on the weekends.  Also, another reason why I do not have children.  This mommy likes her sleepy time.  If I ever get married, that will be something in our vows.  That if we ever have children, he would get up with them and let me sleep and leave me alone until I decide to come downstairs.  If not, no deal.  Sorry bucko.  I promise to love, honor, obey, do the laundry, and sleep til noon on the weekends.  Til death do us part.

So I begrudgingly set my alarm for 8:30am.  ON.  A.  SUNDAY.  And headed over to Wendy’s to wait for Judy.  I didn’t mind that much though, seeing as though we were getting massages.  Who can complain about that, right?  Side note:  Does anyone else get a complex when getting a massage or pedicure and the workers start talking in their language to each other?  Like you know they are saying how fat you are or how nasty your feet are?  Even if they aren’t?  It totally freaks me out cuz you KNOW they are making fun of you.  Anyway.  After we had our hour long massages, we went to a Thai restaurant for lunch and then went shopping around town.  All in all it was a very nice day.  And we always have fun when we are together.  Even the guy at the dessert counter at Whole Foods commented about how we must get in trouble a lot when we are together.  What?  Us?  Never.  Now give me my cannoli, dammit.  After we went there, we stopped at a winery where we might have had a few samples while waiting for Judy to pick up her wine of the month selection.  HOWEVER….. dumb archaic laws in Indiana…. You can’t buy alcohol on Sundays.  Such a pissa.  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve gotten to the register and swiped the barcode only to get chastised by both the people behind me and the register Nazi being all condescending and informing me that “It’s a SUNDAY, ma’am.”  Don’t fucking call me ma’am.  Got it?  And don’t mess with me when I can’t have my beer.  Seriously.  Not a pleasant experience.  I need to figure out that law and get it changed.  Fast.  Or I’m moving.

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