Tuesday, January 17, 2012

I'm A Hot Mess....


Ugh.  These last couple of days have been Brutal with capital B.

I have literally walked every aisle, every row, sat in every seat, climbed every stair in my stadium.

I have had boob sweat, back sweat, ass-crack sweat, elbow sweat, head sweat, lip sweat and armpit sweat.  I've been a sexy beast, let me tell you.  Rooooooar!

My feet hurt.  My ankles hurt.  My knees hurt.  My back hurts.  My hips hurt.  My neck hurts.  My arms hurt.  My head hurts.  And I didn't even get laid.

I have eaten lunch at 4pm.  I have missed eating lunch.  My arms have been too tired to lift a fork to eat the lunch that I do have.

My hair has been in a ponytail every day the horror! and I've bathed in body spray multiple times throughout the day to get rid of my sweaty stench.



I have answered the most ridiculous questions from the most ridiculous people.  I have worked with my favorite AFC team's staff.  I have forged relationships with co-workers that I never ever thought I would.  I have met some extremely important individuals (and shockingly I'm only stalking one of them so far) who are more down to earth then I would have ever imagined.

Tomorrow I will lose my parking lot and get to hoof it through the ice, wind, rain, and freezing cold temperatures for 6 blocks each way to my office.  For the next two and a half weeks it'll get even worse than it might be right now with longer hours, bigger crowds of people, more stair climbing, sweatier body parts, demanding VIPs, and crotchety inconvenienced people.

But don't take any of this for complaining one bit.  It will all be worth it when you are sitting in your comfortable homes, partying with your friends and family and watching the biggest game of the year.  Just remember as you drink your beer and eat your chicken wings that those people that you are seeing rooting for their team are sitting in a seat that my ass sweat is dried onto .  And remember as you are watching the Patriots beat either the Giants or the 49ers that I am probably pulling my hair out or running around like a mad woman or crying in the fetal position under my desk or sneaking into the locker room to molest Rob Gronkowski during halftime  or shuddering every time I look at myself in the mirror being forced to wear a POLO SHIRT- ew and 100% likely to be crossing my fingers hoping and praying for it to be Feb 6th right that moment.

BECAUSE IF YOU HAVEN'T FIGURED IT OUT YET- MY STADIUM IS HOSTING THE SUPER BOWL IN 19 DAYS!!!!!!!  FUCK YEAH, BITCHES!

Cuz that's how I roll.

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