Sunday, October 27, 2013

Getting Rid of the Boobs

Woah now.  Simmer down, boys.  This isn't that kind of blog.  The girls are still intact and as perky as ever.  Gravity hasn't taken full effect just yet.  Anyway, enough about my lady humps.  Sorry that you had to read any of that, Dad.

This post pertains to those awful boob lights that seem to be all the rave with the builders these days.

Ew.  There it is- in all it's shiny brassy glory.  There were 4 of them in the house when I moved in.  First thing I did was take them down and spray then oil rubbed bronze- to as least make them fractionally less hideous. The last remaining two in the house are at the top and bottom of the stairs.

I've searched all over for new lights to no avail.  Until I found The One in Lowe's about a month ago.  Unfortunately they only had one, not two in stock.  So I passed.  In the meantime, I found a cute lamp shade on clearance at Target that I picked up, thinking that I could make it into something for the top of the stairs where all of the pink is.  It was funky and cool and I tried.  I really did.  After cutting up two old lamps for pieces and picking up a light kit at Menards, I finally came to the conclusion that I was failing.  So I gave up.

I jumped onto and looked up semi-flushed mount lights and saw The One again.  This time marked down from $68 to $54.  Score.  I searched by zip code to see where I could find them and the closest store to me was about 25 miles away.  Of course none of the 6 stores near me had any.  Ugh.

So yesterday I headed out to pick them up and explore the great state of Indiana in the process.  I grabbed my two and used one of my birthday gift cards for one of them THANK YOU MAMACITA and headed back to the car.  I thought to myself as I was pulling out of the parking lot that I should have bought 3- you know- just in case something was wrong with one of them- but pushed that feeling aside as I cruised on down the road.  Well... hindsight and all.... it's a bitch.

I got home, turned off the power- safety first, bitches- and removed the boob light downstairs.

Easy peasy.  Then I got to putting together and installing the new light.

About half way through the install, with my arms above my head for roughly 15 minutes, staring at these screws that were supposed to be long enough-which clearly weren't- I realized I needed to head back to Lowe's to get longer screws.  Ugh.  Nothing like putting a wrench in the install.  So 20 minutes later I was back and the light was up.  Woot woot!

So pretty right?  Except there's one thing that's wicked annoying.  If you can see the difference from the box to the light, you know that it's driving my OCD crazy.  The top square and the shade square don't line up.  Whatever dimwit that made the shade didn't line up the holes of the shade to the attachment so that the squares were the same direction.  The shade is attached, therefore I can't just turn it until they meet up.  So at some point I will take it back down, drill new holes so that they even up and re-install it.  Because that is REALLY going to annoy the shit out of me.

Anyway- I headed upstairs to start on the 2nd light.  After numerous attempts to figure out which breaker this light fell under and running from the garage to the house and back again about 16 times, I finally figured it out.  It's the master bedroom switch- in case any of you care.  Why- I have no idea.  But it is.

I removed that boob light and started putting the new light together only to find out that the shade was crushed.  Bad.  Of course it was.  And then the little voice in my head said- "See, I told you we should have gotten that third light just in case."  UGH.  Stupid voice in my head. Well let me tell you, there was no effing way I was driving all the way back to that store to get a new light.

So this morning I headed over to the store 4 minutes from my house, returned the damaged light and had the store order me a new one to be delivered there.  It should arrive within 7-10 days.  So for now- the light that I use every night on my way upstairs to go to bed is just wires.  Oh well.  Good thing I know exactly how many stairs there are and steps from the top of the stairs until my bedroom light is.  What, you don't have your house memorized like that?  Again, I'm crazy.  I've grown to accept it.

But I love the new light!!  Can't wait until I get the replacement light to see how they look together.  What do you think?  Big improvement?  I'm definitely glad that I held out until I found something that I really liked. Rather than just buying something that I kind of liked just to get rid of the ugly boob lights.  That $5 can of spray paint was worth the 4 year wait.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

DIY Artwork Gone Wrong

Wow- has it really been over a month since I've last posted?  Clearly, I haven't been busy at all.  Wink.  Ugh once football season starts, all hell breaks loose and when I finally have a day off I'm more prone to become a sloth on my couch who doesn't shower, brush her teeth or hair and definitely doesn't shave her legs.  I don't have time for anything with the letters d, i or y.  Never mind blogging about my lack of diy.  Slothness takes priority.

And now that I've gone and told you I haven't shaved my legs, I figure I better warn you that I just popped some Dayquil.  So it's very possible that by the time you get to the end of this post, I'll probably be drooling on myself.

So back to the art gone wrong.  Remember when I took some lyrics from a rap song and turned it into awful artwork and tried to pretend that I liked it?  Well.....umm......soooo..... I never liked it.  One bit.  Now don't get me wrong.  I'm ALL ABOUT the DIY.  But when it looks DIY I'm not all about it.  The canvas was super cheesy and not in a good way.  It's been hung in the upstairs living room for months now and every time I go up there I cringe.  I finally decided to do something about it last weekend.
I headed to Michaels to pick up some more craft paint and was very excited to see they were 4/$2- score!  I grabbed the 4 colors that I needed and headed home.  I immediately yanked the canvas off the wall and found my blue painters tape and got to work on my kitchen floor.

Just those 2 areas done and it's already such an improvement.  But by the time I was finished it now looks like this:

Had terrible lighting up there tonight since it's rainy and cloudy.  But the colors are the same as the other striped artwork up there behind the couch.

So they are kind of matchy matchy but not really.  I mean, anything is better than the gold, right?  Can I get an Amen?

Oh and you might notice that I changed out the lamps up here.  I originally had these:

They didn't go well up here.  I even tried to desperately give them away during my garage sale last year to no avail so they went back upstairs.  I've been looking for new lamps for quite some time now but didn't want to pay $50+ per lamp for a room that rarely gets used.  So I've held out.  Until the other day when I stopped into Target to pick up some band-aids and found myself in the lighting section.  I have no idea how that happened.  They had a bunch of their Threshold items on clearance and lo and behold I found these glass ombre lamps for $14.  They didn't come with a shade so I'm currently using the same shades that were on the above lamps.  But they fit the space better and have more color to them than the blah boring pewter ones.

They are a perfect match to the aqua in the room.  And did I mention they were $14 each?  Wait- can we talk about my purple glittery pumpkin for a minute?  How fabulous is that?  I've got matching black ones on my dining table for Halloween.  But we'll talk about those decorations tomorrow.

So anything that you guys have DIY'ed that you later absolutely hated and found a way to tweak it to better fit the space?  So glad I didn't just trash the canvas.  Because $2 worth of craft paint definitely made it look a hell of a lot better.  But if I've come out with a lesson in all of this- it's that I should let the rap lyrics stay on the radio.  I don't pull off gangsta very well.  It's funny cuz when the very white neighbor kid drives up my street with his car thumping and rattling to the beat of some Kanye song I always yell to him that this isn't that kind of neighborhood and he rolls his eyes at Mrs. Robinson me, I have come to realize that apparently my house isn't that kind of house.  Hip hop will stay on my iPod from now on.  I will however, find a way to bring in some Mumford & Sons or Snow Patrol lyrics eventually.  I bet my house could handle that a little better.