Tuesday, May 31, 2011

I apologize in advance.....

So day two of no running water…. Ew. How did people ever live like this? All I can say is that I would NEVER be able to survive in a third world country.  At.  All.  I was able to shower yesterday thanks to the wonderful Wendy and Jon. But this morning was a whole different story. The funny thing is that my boss came in and said, “Well, you don’t stink, so I guess you were able to shower this morning.” Well, no- but thank you for acknowledging that I overdosed my body in Victoria’s Secret spray. Even more funny is that she complimented my slicked back ponytail saying how nice my hair looked pulled back like that and how I’ve never worn my hair like that before. So my takeaway from all of this is that I look and smell better having not showered than I do spending 50 minutes a day each morning getting all beautified.  Fabulous.  

Well I got the call today and they just came and replaced the water tank.  Sweet.  Now I can overload the system and do my laundry, dishes, and shower all at the same time to make sure that it's really working.  But what a pain in the ass.  I guess I can be positive about it and say that it definitely could have been worse.  And with that I'm done talking about the stupid water tank.  

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Screw You and the Horse You Rode In On

So this post was initially going to be dedicated to the wall art for the front spare room (think yellow nightstands).  However, in the meantime some flippin bullshit just happened that I need to vent about.  BULLSHIT, I tell you.

I showered and got ready to go to the grocery and was looking all cute and shit (hey, you never know who you might see in the produce department.  Melons, anyone?).  I grabbed my purse and was about to go through the laundry room and........ SQUISH!!!!!!!!!  Ummm what the hell was THAT?  I look down and see my laundry room FLOODED.  Ummm excuse me but WHAT THE FUCK?  Ballet flats soaked, jeans soaked, Kristi pissed.  And freaking out a lil bit.  I run upstairs to grab some old towels and run back down and throw them on the floor.  And.... so much for being all cute- now I'm a hot, sweaty, soaking wet mess.  Where is this water coming from?  Well I find the leak- and this is where I go in to panic mode.  And I apologize for no action photos- I went into "get rid of the water" mode and didn't think of grabbing any photos. 

OK.  So see above the towel where the wires are coming out of the tank?  Umm ya, that's where the water was coming from.  Electrical wires + water = No Bueno.

Further evidence that there was a shit ton of water- 6 towels and a soaking wet rug.  Now that I've grabbed a tupperware container (thank you, Chinese food gods for your complimentary containers) and have the water going into that, I call the emergency number on the tank.  Of course I realize its a Sunday.  Of course I realize that it's a holiday weekend.  Of course.....

Saturday, May 28, 2011

I'm A Big Kid Now.

Ohhh.  Emmmm.  Geeee!!!!  I am SO EXCITED!!!!  My big girl furniture arrived today!!!!  YIPPEE!!!!

They called me yesterday saying that they would be here between 11:15am and 1:15pm and I just figured that I'd be the last person to get their delivery so I planned on sitting around ALL DAY.  Me and delivery men don't usually see eye to eye on scheduled times so I didn't have too much confidence in this two hour window.  But I got a call this morning at 10:30am from Tim- one of the very lovely boys on the truck- saying that they'd be there in 45 minutes.  SA- WEEEEEEET!

The two guys were really nice, bringing everything up (and BELIEVE ME- they aren't light pieces at all) and setting up the room to my liking.  I swear, I didn't hover too much.  Although the young one almost got punched in the face twice for calling me ma'am.  Does this (shimmy shimmy shimmy) look like a "ma'am" to you?  I think not.

The room looks soooo good.  I think I've walked in there about 63 times since its been set up.  OK 64 times.  I had to stop typing and go back upstairs to look at it again.  Although I'm hoping at some point within the next 8 hours that I grow 3 inches because that bed is HIGH!!!  I might need a footstool to get up on there.  Although picturing myself running across the room and catapulting myself onto it does sound fun too!

So with no further ado..... here she is!!!!!

Sunday, May 22, 2011


It's DONE!!! Done.  Done. DONE!!!!!  Do you know how HAPPY I am about that?  The drawers have been done for quite some time, just sitting by their lonesome on the dining room floor.  But now the actual piece is complete and out of the garage!!

But first let's start with this.  I did my daily "Let's search for some bedroom furniture..... again and be disappointed...... again."  I've literally been doing this song and dance for the last year and a half- maybe more.  But yesterday I found something that I LOVE!!!!  I've been dreaming about a set from Restoration Hardware ( I know I know.  But there are times that I like to pretend that I am rich and could drop THAT kind of money of a bedroom set.... or anything for that matter).  This set would cost me over $7,000 and when you look at it like "I could pay 7 mortgage payments with that."  or "I could buy 14,000 Klondike bars with that."  you start to realize that you can't FATHOM spending that amount of money on furniture.  When I bought my house, my uncle called me to tell me that he was going to buy my bedroom suit for me.  I couldn't find anything else that I liked and about 9 months ago he came out to see my house and we went to every- LITERALLY every- furniture store out there and I found nothing that I liked.

So he left me with a very nice and FULL envelope of cash and told me to purchase the one from Restoration Hardware.  Even with the money, I still couldn't pay that amount.  So I hemmed and I hawed.  And then I hemmed and hawed some more.  Yesterday as I stared longingly at the set through my computer I jumped onto another site just for shits and giggles.  And shockingly- I FOUND SOMETHING!!!

I called up my partner in crime, Miss Wendy and we went up to see it today.  It's gorgeous!  And I bought it!!!  Woo hooo now I won't have to leave my clothes on the floor!  I have BIG GIRL furniture!   YAY me!!  I literally have every other room in my house furnished but my master bedroom.  Now, the house is complete!!  I'm so flippin excited about this furniture, you have no idea.  AND the best news of it all..... it was HALF the price!!!  But still made of solid wood and not the cheap shit that seems to be all the rage lately.  Ew.  It will be delivered next Saturday and I honestly think I'm going to kiss the delivery men the minute I open the door!! (Note to self:  remember to shave on Friday.  Hey- you never know!)

So after we left we came back home to cook dinner.  I made my yummy stuffed chicken breasts (spinach, Borsin cheese, and sun dried tomatoes.... delish!) with wild rice and steamed broccoli.  Jon and Wendy rode their bikes over since it was such a nice day and we chilled a little bit before I roped Jon into some manual labor.  (Hey- I at LEAST fed him first!)  We brought the soon-to-be yellow dresser down to the garage and brought the Bombe dresser inside to the dining room cuz she's FINISHED!!!  And I fucking LOVE IT!

Saturday, May 21, 2011

That's Alright, That's OK. You're Gonna Pump My Gas Someday.

I'm not quite sure what I am going to do with this new job of mine.  It's getting kind of ridiculous if you ask me.  I honestly don't know who they think they are.  I've had to work 3 events since I started.  And for some RIDICULOUS reason- I've gotten a day off for each of those three events.  WHAT?  I know!  Its such a foreign concept.  I've never heard of this before.  A COMP day?  Not only that but we've gotten out early the past couple of Fridays.  Its like the world really IS coming to an end today.

Anyway- I got yesterday off for one of these events so I did what any person with a day off does.  Slept in.  Got woken up by the construction workers at 7am.  FUN TIMES.  I actually wasn't too mad at them though because I had a ton of things on my list that I wanted to get done so I didn't get stuck doing them this weekend.  I went to the gym and ran for a lil bit.  Then came back home and spent more time de-thatching my yard.  I now have about 11% of the yard done and it's only taken me 74 days.  Sweet!  Maybe some time in 2015 I will have the entire yard complete.  Once I finished that tenth of the yard I mowed the entire thing.  And this is where I got my first sunburn of the year!!  Woo hooo for farmer tans!  It was so nice to be outside though in nice warm HOT weather.  I forgot what it feels like to sweat.  And let me tell you, my pits were loving it too!  Sexy.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

More Things That Annoy The Shit Out Of Me

  • People who pronounce "important" as impordent.  There is no D in the word.  Go back to the 1st grade.  
  • Idiots walking in front of you that just stop.  For no reason whatsoever.
  • The price of gas.
  • My dryer that keeps shrinking my pants.
  • The evil York peppermint patties in the drawer next to me screaming "Eat me! Eat me!" every 5 seconds. 
  • Men who use LOL.  Nuff said.
  • Construction workers that find it necessary to work on the house next to me at 7am on a Saturday.  A SATURDAY PEOPLE!
  • Drivers who don't speed up when getting on to a highway.
  • The Real Housewives of......
  • The Black Eyed Peas.
  • Someone ordering a pound of 6 different kinds of meat at the deli when all I want it a 1/2 pound of turkey.
  • Standing in line at a store (any store but mostly Wal-Mart) that has at least 20 check out points but only has 3 of them working.  And none of them is a 10 items or less line.  
  • Laurie Ann Gibson.  Big time annoys me.  
  • People who update their FB status more than 5 times a day.  I don't need to know what you ate, when you went pee, who you ran into at the grocery, and the funny thing your daughter said to you.  All in a 20 minute time period. 
  • Spray paint dust.  
  • Old Navy commercials.  Sorry- one was just on when I was writing this blog. And it was obnoxious.
  • Brain freezes. 
  • Cleaning my shower.  Although lately I've made a fun game of "Let's Pretend We're At the Beach" where I get in my bikini and spray some coconut lotion and crank up the radio while the waterfall (shower spray) soaks me.  Good times.  
  • Season finales

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Crash Into Me....

When I was in college in Miami, I worked for my friends’ ticketing company. We would run a lot of events throughout the year- but one of my favorite events was the Sony Ericsson Open held in Key Biscayne. The vibe around that event was always something spectacular and it was the one time a year that I imagined that I could be this posh, wealthy person that hangs out at tennis events with the rich and European. And then I’d wake up and look at my checking account balance and be immediately smacked back into reality. Good times. 

It didn’t help that I had a total crush on the guy who ran the event. Ahhh, Charles. Side note: My friend Matt always tried to embarrass the shit out of me wherever we were. He found out that I had a huge crush on Charles and after I tried to embarrass him in front of this hot chick one day, he totally blurted out in front of everyone (including Charles) that I totally had the hots for him. I played it off and made it look like he didn’t just put me on blast (and I certainly didn’t deny it to Charles when he looked at me!), but I was completely mortified. Thanks Matt!! Love ya!! Anyways- I worked this event about 3 or 4 times before I had a brief hiatus in New Hampshire. When I moved back to Miami we always had craptastic Disney On Ice the same time as the tennis tournament so I never got to go. 

Saturday, May 14, 2011

Your News- Local, Live, and Breath Taking

I have this dear friend of mine who I'm not quite sure if I've mentioned yet in this blog. Probably because his head is ALREADY big enough- there's no need to make it any bigger.  Just kidding.  I met Joel while I was in college in Miami my first year.  We were at some cheesy gathering for one of the orientation events.  He was sitting in front of me and my roommate, Melissa, with his roommate and some of the other guys on his floor (although he claims that he was BEHIND us- whatever).  There was some obnoxious girl on stage with a microphone and I just kept making fun of her and her manly voice.  Joel, hearing me, turned around and was like "OMG you are such a bitch and we are sooooooo going to be best friends."  Clearly, this is not what was said but he did turn around and give me some look and probably rolled his eyes at me and shushed me so that he could hear manly voice giving her presentation.

You And Me Baby, We're Stuck Like Glue.

What a week.  Seriously.  I've been a busy lady this week getting some projects done, some started, and figuring out how to use my orbital sander- which I JUST USED!!! Love it!  And boy do I look sexy in some protective glasses.  Just sayin boys!  You are MISSING out.  And I cook.  Seriously missing out. 

Anyways- I was given a garage freezer/fridge last weekend which is so frickin awesome (THANK YOU JUDY!!!!) because I had been wanting one but I wasn't trying to spend $400-$500 on one right now.  My friends got a new one for their house and rather than having the delivery guy take their old one away- they asked me if I wanted it.  HELLS YES I did!!  So there she is- all stainless and pretty and keeping mama's Blue Moon nice and COLD. 

So knowing that I was getting this- I had to move some things around in my garage to make room.  Well that means that I no longer have any room to park in my garage.  My TWO CAR garage.  With my ONE CAR.  Because of all the junk lovely things I have in there right now.  So I decided that I had to get some of the "projects" done and outta there so I could at least park my car again.  For crying out loud.  I'm ridiculous.  

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Boys I'd Like To F.......... be friendly with.... or as Beth likes to call this post- We Are Giant Slut Bags and Proud of It

Prior to this post- I wanted to say a few things.  One is a huge THANK YOU for all of you who are reading my blog (whether it's for enjoyment or you are being vindictive) because my post last week is the biggest (no pun intended) read story since I've started the blog.  The second is that this is a blog.  Its not CNN.  No need to take me SO DAMN SERIOUSLY people.  It's meant to be FUNNY.  Get a sense of humor.  If you don't like it- don't read it.  And for those of you who passed it on to try an get me into some sort of trouble- then you did exactly what I wanted you to do without even realizing.  So again, THANK YOU!!!! And in case you are wondering.  Everything that I do, say, and type is well thought out.  I know exactly what I am doing it, when I am doing it.  Now on to more important things!!

So last night was Beth's and my DWTS textfest night.  This is a weekly thing that we've started doing and we have so much fun trashing, bashing and judging each couple (It's almost up there with us yelling "Fatties!!!" at our TV's on Biggest Loser night).  Somehow last night we got into this "thing" where we started naming guys on our lists.  You girls all know that you have those LISTS.....wink wink.  It started from a new commercial for the latest Pirates movie and Beth was all gaga over Johnny Depp.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

SOME of the Things That Annoy the Shit Out of Me.

  • People chomping on gum like it’s their job and when you talk to them about it they say, “OMG- I didn’t even realize I was doing that!” while twirling their hair around their finger. But then they continue to do it.
  • Bad drivers. How hard is it to learn how to merge? Really. And turning right from a left lane? Seriously?
  • Pajama jeans.
  • People who think that because I’m blond I MUST be dumb. When you do that, say that, or act like that- I will turn around and out-smart you under the table. And you’ll look like an ass.
  • Co-workers who chew on ice. All the time. Including in meetings. And spit it out all over you.
  • People who say, “I know you’re busy, but….” And totally continue to interrupt you like you aren’t busy.
  • Skinny girls.
  • Lady Gaga. Enough said.
  • Anyone expecting any productivity out of me prior to 10:00am. Also between 11:30am-2:00pm. And after 3:00pm for that matter.
  • Jeggings (or all leggings for that matter) and people who should definitely NOT be wearing them. I don’t need to see all that business going on back there.
  • Someone trying to argue with me or trying to prove me wrong. I will win. Because I always do. And I’ll make you cry.
  • One uppers. For example: I went to the local mall and purchased a shirt. One upper flew out to Beverly Hills and went to Rodeo Drive and bought 20 shirts and 32 pairs of jeans and 6 pairs of shoes. And while she was there, she was found by an agent and was hired for a commercial. Cuz she’s just a little bit better than you.
  • Interrupters.
  • People who ask you a question but then don’t let you answer it. Or they answer it for you.
  • Children without manners.
  • Jessica Simpson, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and the cast of jersey Shore. They are all on the bus that I’m sending over the cliff.
  • People who want you to vote for their child as the new face of the Gap. Over and over. Newsflash- you’re child isn’t that cute. That’s why I haven’t voted for him/her.
  • Being told what to do. Or someone “suggesting” you do something….. like you aren’t 31 years old and don’t have a mind of your own. 
  • 5......5 dollar......5 dollar footlong.  
  • My phone ringing before noon on a weekend. 

I Feel The Earth Move....Whenever You're Around!

After I left the Heat, I started working with my good friend’s company again until I found another full time job. I had already been looking for a new job for over a year and nothing peaked my interest and apparently I didn’t peak any of the employers interest of the ones that I did apply for. It was really starting to get frustrating and I was at the point of giving up. 

Wendy called me one day when I was just really down on myself and not knowing what I was going to do and told me about two jobs that she had found.  I begrudgingly got out of bed at her insistence cursing her all the way over to my computer that I apply for these two jobs and submitted my resume. I applied for the jobs on a Monday. I received a call from one of them on that Thursday, they flew me up on the following Monday and I was hired on Thursday. When I flew up up there, I was in the middle of a golf tournament in Northern Florida that went for another week. When I was hired, I literally had one week to get back to Miami, pack all of my things, and move. I should have known at the time with how “unaccommodating” about my start date my soon to be supervisor was being that this job really wasn’t for me. But I was at least getting out of Florida and to where I wanted to be. And I was also getting a decent salary again! Woo hoo!! 

So I moved in March on the Friday before I was supposed to start my job, put all of my stuff in storage and moved in with Wendy and Jon. Little did they know- they weren’t going to get rid of me for another year and a half! Bwahhh hahaha!! My first day on the job, there were two other girls starting as well and one of them became my first official “new friend” here- you couldn’t separate us. We definitely had a great time with each other while I was there. The rest of the office (excluding one department worth) was great. It was mostly made up of girls my age and we spent lots of time out together. For some reason this company thought that I was the be all and end all of knowledge and experience. Boy do I know how to fluff my resume, huh? Just kidding, I really do know it all.  Our CEO was amazing, letting me do my thing, running my department (and by department, I mean ME), my direct supervisor was annoying as all hell, but was certainly tolerable because he pretty much left me alone since he had zero ticketing experience. Things were going good for quite a while. We went on the road that summer and I apparently surprised my CEO with how much I knew and what I could handle and with all of the changes that I implemented. I was told numerous times that they were just waiting for me to realize how much cooler I was than them obviously and were waiting for me to leave. My staff at that point was terrible- with the exception of Beth. So after the summer was over, I fired them all but kept my sister from another mister. She’s thoroughly entertaining so I couldn’t get rid of her and we definitely kept each other sane with all of the bullshit that we had to go through. 

During my interview (black suit, hot pink shirt- BAM!) I was very open with “what type of employee I am.” I later found out that after I left their office, my soon-to-be supervisor was like, “Who tells a company what they will and won’t do at a job interview?” HAHA. Yes I have a serious set of balls. I needed to make it VERY CLEAR to whoever was going to hire me that I wasn’t going to kill myself for them. I would however, bust my ass and get my job done but I was done at 5pm. Don’t call me and don’t email me when I am home because I will not respond. I understood that when we were “in season” that this would change and I would be there when I needed to be. But the rest of the year- 40 hours a week baby. Well this apparently pissed off one department who thought that they were god’s gift. How it was my fault that they can't get their shit done during the work day and I could?  Not my problem. 

I really started to butt heads with the head of one department. He didn’t work in our office so it was difficult to interact with him at first and I thought it was me misunderstanding this guy.  But then it started to really get bad. Everyone kept saying not to worry about it, it’s just that he’s from the east coast and he had “east coast attitude.” No. Fuck that. I’m from the east coast. I know LOTS of people from the east coast. And NONE of them behave the way that this fucker does. Don’t lump all of us into the same category as him and don’t give the “east coast” a bad name by describing him as that. I apologize to any of you in advance that are friends with this scumbag. Because I am NOT going to be nice about him. He’s a complete dickhead. The first time I met him he was plopped in a chair in our conference room. The entire time he was talking to me I couldn’t think of anything other than him eating me for lunch. He is ENORMOUS (and that’s being nice). When he crosses his arms in front of him they stick straight out (a la I Dream of Genie) resting on his man boobs because his gut sticks so far out that he can’t put his arms down. He’s so gigantic that he broke one of our conference room chairs. He’s a cross between Fat Bastard and Jabba the Hutt.  He starts sweating just thinking about having to stand up. 

He basically had our CEO wrapped around his finger and anything that Blob (my name for him) said, went. He bad mouthed the staff in front of our board of directors. He forced us to have everything written, designed, created, etc. by his graphic design company (conflict of interest anyone?) and required to have at least 2 weeks for completion of said request- which was never completed within the 2 weeks. I think that from the almost 3 years that I was there, I MAYBE got 3 requests done on time from him. When you started questioning him as to where your request was, he’d get wicked nasty with you and swear and call you names in emails. He had all the power in the office because he was the master manipulator. He is a serious bully and one of the most passive aggressive people I’ve ever met. He flipped out on me a year into my being there about a letter. Seriously. A letter. Here’s a little snippet of what was said (exact quotes-  only thing that is changed are company name and my supervisors name) on the day that the letter was due back to me and he decided to tell me that he was changing MY REQUEST to a postcard:

Blob: I think we will opt to do this as a postcard, rather than killing extra trees with everything else.

Me: Literally just printed the envelopes since I hadn’t heard back from anyone and I thought I’d receive it today. Can we just do the letter so as not to waste the envelopes and money that was spent on those? (Never mind that he said that they will “opt” to do a postcard- so that meant he hadn’t even started the postcard- which meant that AGAIN I wasn’t going to get my request on time)

Blob: If you were just going to do your own thing anyway, why did you bother to ask?

I didn’t respond to him. The next day (one day past due date) still no letter in hand.

Me: Please let me know when is a good time to chat about this letter. I am available anytime today to get on a conference call with you. Thanks so much!

Blob: There’s nothing to chat about. You’ve pissed me off. 

This is how all conversations went with him. I was at my breaking point with him. I was trying really REALLY hard not to turn into the “old me” aka Major Bitch that I was when I was in Miami. I wasn’t going to get all riled up by this guy but I also wasn’t going to feel like I had to tip toe around him either. So I went to my supervisor to ask him to talk to Blob and see what was going on with the letter/postcard. 

At the end of the day he emailed Blob: “So, is it fair to assume we'll have this tomorrow morning?” (Which would then mean that the request is now two full days past the due date.)

Blob: Why are you involved with this now? Am I going to have to put up with yet another weak "ABC"  employee getting the "daddy du jour" to fight their battles for them, rather than ponying up and being a professional? Fuck this, "Rich". This has nothing to do with you other than the fact that this lazy employee dragged you into the conversation in an effort to "tattle" on me. I'm over this kind of behavior from the poseurs in the office, and if you're going to enable the perpetuation of mediocrity, you and I will need to discuss it when we're next together. To answer your question: It's fair to assume that you'll have the fucking letter when I get it done.

So now do you know what I mean when I say he’s a total dickhead? My supervisor said that he had “every right to talk to me like that because he’s a senior manager” when I complained about him. Ummm- I don’t THINK SO. I don’t give a fuck who you are, you don’t talk to anyone like that. I then went to my CEO about it and he asked what I responded. I told him that I he “didn’t WANT me to respond to him. But if he sends me another email like that, I WILL respond to him and it won’t be pretty.” Needless to say that after that I didn’t interact with him. I went through my supervisor or my CEO when I had something I needed from  him. He started to treat more and more employees like that too. My supervisor finally had enough of it because now HE was getting treated the same way that I was (yeah- NOW that douchebag thought that Blob was inappropriate- only cuz HE was being treated like shit). So 5 people (out of an office of about 17-18) put a binder together, that ended up being about 180 pages, and filed an official complaint against him. A week went by and finally our CEO responded back to us that Blob had been talked to. That’s it. I decided then and there that I was leaving this company. Nothing was going to change because he was the master puppeteer and had brainwashed our CEO. I wasn’t passionate about working there, it wasn’t sports- which was where I loved being. And let’s face it, I am cooler than most people that work there so I was just doing what they thought all along I was going to do. Just kidding. But. Not really. 

I’m glad that I worked there though. I learned a lot on office politics. I got more experience in my field. I learned tons of “How NOT To’s.” But I also met some of my very good friends there.  For that, I am grateful. I also wouldn’t have half of the hilarious stories about Beth and I. OMG- I would have never met Beth. Definitely glad that I worked there. And who knows what would’ve happened had I stayed in Florida any longer.

To Blob: You will always be the fat kid in school who got made fun of that now overcompensates for it by treating others like shit. You are a coward, a bully, and evil spirited. No one likes you and in fact, they pity you. You sit behind your computer and send out your “hateful words” and “nasty comments” from behind a monitor- like you are so tough.  But when it comes down to it- you can’t say it to their faces cuz you are nothing but a little bitch. I don’t feel bad that when I met with you to talk about how much of an asshole you really are, I made you sit in a booth because I knew you wouldn’t fit in it and watching you try to squeeze into it was the highlight of my week.  How do you like me now? 

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

Workin For the Weekend

So I've debated a few times on if I ever wanted to broach the subject with you all.  I'm not one to hold anything back but didn't know if this story would be interesting enough, cheesy enough,  funny enough, etc.  I've decided to just go with it because for better or worse, what is going to be told has made me who I am today a big nasty bitch.  A FB comment from a friend and former co-worker today is what really made my decision to talk about what happened.  And simmer down, these are just going to be stories of my previous employments.  No need to be all dramatic, people.  But I did have you seriously wondering there for a second right?  Oooooh what kinda dirt was she going to tell us????  Well, fear not, there might actually be some MAJOR dirt.  Just read on. 

I've already talked about some of  my experiences but mostly the funny ones.  But believe me, there are probably WAY more not-so-funny stories than the funny ones.  Except for when I am with Beth and believe me- I have LOTS more stories of our little adventures.  These stories won't be in any sort of order other than what job I'm thinking about at the time of the post or if something I did the day that I was typing it up reminded me of a funny or terrible time I was having.