Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Nothing Tastes As Good As Skinny Feels

Ok first let me start off with a little disclaimer because I don't want any of your hate mail.  Well, actually I love love LOVE hate mail.   But before you go and judge me, understand this.  I feel that it is completely acceptable to make fun of a certain group of people as long as you have been or are a part of that group.  So for instance, I make fun of blondes.  I rag on band geeks.  I judge other dancers.  I also thoroughly enjoy making fun of fat people.  Because let's face it.  I too am a fatty.  I have not been "thin" since I was in the first grade.  It's a fact.  I haven't been in a single number sized pair of pants in probably 20 years.  I've always been the bigger girl out of all my groups of friends because I make them look better, so you're welcome.  While I'm not exactly OK with that,  I've grown used to it.  So with that being said- since I too am a fatty- I feel that I can make fun of other fatties.  Comprende?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Things That Annoy The Shit Out Of Me..... On Facebook

Ok.  This is a new twist on a old thing.  Hope you enjoy. 
  • Bitching.  Seriously people.  I don't care about your problems and neither do the rest of your friends.  If I've said it once, I'll say it again.  IT'S A SOCIAL NETWORK.  That means for fun or entertainment.  Not a FUN SPONGE NETWORK.  Go join Google + if all you do is bitch.   
  • Statuses (status's?  statusi?  Status'?) that leave you guessing.  If I have to think about what you mean, I've already spent more time on you than I would like.  Don't leave us in limbo.  Clearly we are thinking the worst.  Or at least I am.  (It's way more entertaining that way)  If you have the guts to put it (albeit very vaguely) on your page- just spit it out.  If not, don't bother us with your drama.
  • Charities.  I feel like you only like a charity because it seems cool.  Do you donate money or your time to this charity outside of Facebook or just "like" it cuz one of your friends did?  Because based on the number of pages that you "like" it makes your "like" of the charity seem insignificant.  Especially when its listed right next to your like of Tide laundry detergent and The Kardashians. 
  • Having my news feed FULL of the stupid games that you play.  Seriously- if you have that much time on your hands, get a job.  Or a second job.   Or a hobby (one that isn't playing games on FB).  I've been able to hide most peoples status updates in my news feed (you'd honestly be surprised at how many people I've blocked from my news feed) but unfortunately my Blackberry doesn't do the same.  Damn Blackberry. 
  • Sonogram pictures.  Please don't force me to look at your innards.  While I might be happy that you are expecting, I definitely don't need to see your black and white blob up close and personal.  Now I just LOVE actual baby pictures though.  So I'm not anti-kids photos. Just anti-fetus pictures. 
  • Friends that put WAY TOO MUCH personal information on their pages.  It is a social network.  Not a "Woah is me.  Feel bad for me" network.  Save your drama for your mama.  I don't need to know that you and your spouse are fighting.  Or your friend betrayed you.  Or you have a headache. 
  • Serial daters.  If you change your relationship status as much as you hopefully change your underwear, you might want to rethink using that option.  How can one go from In A Relationship, Married, Separated, Divorced, Single, In A Relationship, In Limbo, Rethinking My Divorce, and Confused all in one week?  It's ridiculous.  Either you are the dirty whore that I've always thought you were or you are just an attention seeker. 
  • Inappropriate pictures.  You all know what I'm talking about.  Everyone has that friend.  Because while you might think that you have a rockin bod, not everyone else feels that way.  I don't want to see your saggy flabby ass all over my news feed.  KTHXBYE.    
  • "Vote for my....." requests over and over again.  If I didn't vote the first time you asked- it probably means that I won't vote for it the 2nd or 3rd time either.    (And this is no way the same as me harassing you to like my Girl With The Pink Toolbelt page over and over.  Not one bit.  By the way- have you liked it yet?)  My page is funny and I will totally amuse the shit out of you.  Your kid isn't Baby Gap's Adorable Child of the Year.  He's just not.  No matter how many times I do or don't vote for your ugly kid- its not me who decides.  It the Baby Gap.  And have you seen the babies they use?  Adorable.  Nothing like your kid.  Sorry.   But its the truth. 
  • Tagging me in a photo without my permission.  Which leads me to untag myself.  Then you go and tag me again.  I don't need that many pictures of my double chin on the Internet.  STOP tagging it.  It's almost at the point where it needs it's own Fan page. 

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Organizing My Messy Life Away!

Hi Ya'll!!! (I've turned country today, apparently)

Hope you are all having a fabulous start to your weekend!!  I had a great day today!  Fingers crossed that tomorrow is the same.  MAYBE I'll make it outside to get some sun.  Who knows.  It'll probably rain now that I've said that.  Damn Mother Nature.  She's such a bitch sometimes. 

Well I'm not sure if I've mentioned my master bath before.  But it's been ANNOYING THE SHIT out of me lately.  It's a very awkward space- in that there are too many things crammed into it with VERY little space for extra storage or shelving.  I've already painted it the color of the bedroom just because only craaaaaaaa-zay people can handle stark white rooms.  I swear- I'm allergic to them.  Eventually I'm going to work on the bathroom, adding tile and other fun expensive things in there.  So for the time being its just blah and boring (but painted). 

Monday, July 11, 2011

My Weekend Was Awesome, How Was Yours?

Well... aside from that poor excuse of a dining table.  Something that I FINALLY finished this weekend was the yellow dresser. Oh- you forgot about that did you? Or did you already think that I was done cuz I haven’t talked about it in months? If only you could be so lucky! Well I had everything done except for the top two drawers (remember the picture of my skivvies still in the drawers but the rest of my clothes on the floor??). yeah, those two were totally forgotten about.  Once I got my AWESOME bedroom furniture I brought those two drawers out into the garage and they sat there. And sat there. Well I finally got down to business drilling the new handle holes, filling the old holes, sanding them, and painting them this weekend as well. Hall. Lay. Lu. Ya. Now I can start cleaning the garage again since all of the projects this weekend involved dust, dirt, and grime. Fun times.

Oh Where Oh Where Has My Dining Table Gone?

Before I go into detail, I'm going to put up a few of the progress pictures.  I started sanding the table over the 4th of July weekend.  Here are some before shots and during the sanding phase shots. 

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Vacation For Your Vacation? Yes, please.

Seriously.  Does anyone else need another couple of days off to recover from their 4 day weekend?  Cuz I do!  Although I had so much fun that I won't complain at all about how tired that I am.  Lots of things happened this weekend.  YAY!  Got to see many many friends and eat TONS of food.  Delicious food. 

Friday night Wendy, Jon and I headed over to the south side (south siyyyyydddeee) for Miss Lauren's birthday gathering.  We went to this cool bar with the biggest patio I've ever seen.  There was live music, fun and cool people and the shittiest waitress I've ever come across.  Terrible.  The worst.  And I can say that with confidence and judge her like this because I was a waitress for a very VERY long time.  But we didn't let that ruin our great night.