Happy 2014, Bitches!!

I know it's been quite some time since I've posted anything so hopefully this year I can get my ass into gear and keep on top of this blog thingy.  Sometimes it's just way too exhausting having to be funny.  Plus I'm super lazy.  And then there's that damn job that I have seems to be taking up much more of my time lately than it normally does.  The good news is that things are slowing down so here comes the project list for this year- obviously to be added to and modified at my discretion.  You know, cuz I can.  Since I'm President and CEO of this thing.

Some of the projects are things that I've already told you about but it's now the time to stop typing about it and actually getting 'er done.  Others I've just come up with so that I have more than 2 things on my list of projects for the year. You know, to justify actually having a DIY blog.  

• The stairs.  I don't care who the hell tells me that I can't redo my stairs- I'm fricken doing them.  I hate the carpet and I'm obsessed with my idea.  And that obsession won't go away until I rip the carpet off and tackle 'em.  It could very well end up that I need to rig up a pulley system to get my fat ass upstairs since I won't have any stairs.  But I need to at least ATTEMPT to do my vision.  
• Build a dining room table.  Yes, I know that I already have a dining room table.  But I don't like it.  So I will build one that I do like.  
• Build outdoor furniture for the patio.  Can't wait to spend a lot of time outdoors this summer and what better than furniture that I've built to sit on?  Plus I've already purchased the cushions so I guess I need to have something to put them on.  Am I the only one who does that kind of thing?
• Paint the garage.  Enough said.  I'm over looking at drywall and mud and tape.  
• Add more shelving to the garage.  This dumping area garage needs to be organized.  
• Rip out the wire shelves in master bedroom closet, install new wood shelves and add a dresser/storage piece.  I'm trying to be all fancy and shit.  In my closet.  I want glam and pretty and upscale.  With a Goodwill budget.  Let's see what I can do.  
• Rip out the wire shelves in pantry and install cabinets and wood shelves.  I need storage.  And for my cans to not fall off the shelves because they don't sit right on the wire shelves.  I'm not looking to make the Great Alfredo Jar Break of 2013 an annual event.  That shit was everywhere.  So not cool.  
• Install an RF extender in the living room to hide the cable box and dvd player.  OMG did that just sounds a little too techy for this blonde?  
• Install a gasless/ventless fireplace in master bedroom.  This will happen.  We're abotu to get romantical in the bedroom.  Bow chica bow wow.  Next up, satin sheets.  
• New tile in master bathroom shower and tub.  I hate the builder grade tile that is in there now.  Plus it's cracking.  And more than likely getting mold behind it.  And it's 5 feet from my bed.   Ew.  Gag.  
• Floor tile in both master bathroom and hall bathroom.  I want sexy dark espresso wood looking tile.  Roarrrrrrrrrr......
• Build fire pit in the back yard. Ummmmm may have already started on this.  Surprise!   
• Get a load or ten of top soil for back yard, re-grade it and seed the soil.  Want.  A.  Back.  Yard.  With.  No.  Weeds.  I want to be able to play games and look at a nice pretty lawn.  
• Fix the rest of the grass and re-seed.  It's a hot mess.  Between the bobcat tracks and the dead grass and the enormous mound of leftover dirt.... I'm that neighbor right now.  I need to fix it.  It's embarrassing.  Big time.  

So now that I've put it in writing...... that looks like it'll keep me pretty busy.  We'll see just how much of this I get done in the year.  Plus I'm sure I'll be adding other fly-by-my-pants projects into the mix throughout the year.  The good news is I got a few Lowe's giftcards for Christmas and I still have money left over on rebates at Menards so hopefully I can get some of my supplies for "free"- technically speaking.  One thing I'm eyeing right now is a Kreg jig.  That will make my life so much easier when building the table and outdoor furniture.  So we'll see.

Now I just need to figure out what I'd like to tackle first!!!  Decisions decisions!!  What do you want to see me attempt?  Have you made your house project list for the year yet?  Have I inspired you to attempt anything yet that you want to change in your house?  No?  Nothing?  You just read this for my sparkling personality?  Clearly that's a lie.